Here are 10 reasons why Bollywood movies have ensured that we have unrealistically high expectations and failing love lives:
1. Raj Is A Myth
All you lovely ladies who spend your Saturday nights cozying up in bed and watching Diwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge for the thirty seventh time, we’re sorry to break it to you but Raj really doesn’t exist. He is a mythical creature devised by Yash Raj Films to ensure that no man ever lives up to your expectations and consequently, you spend enough money to watch your “ideal” man on screen.
2. Rahul, In A Real Life, Is An Annoying Git
From Kuch Kuch Hota Hai to Kabhie Khushi Kabhi Ghum, Rahul has continued to enamour women across the globe. However, if Rahul existed in real life, he would be an annoying twerp who lays it on too thick and doesn’t know when to stop!
3. Lack of Parental Drama!
You know why Bollywood romances are so awesome? It’s because they have sugar, spice, everything nice and a generous dose of evil parents who aren’t satisfied till their children have tried to elope at least twelve times. Your parents are never going to fill the void that parents like Yashwardhan Raichand or Baldev Singh have made in your vulnerable heart.
4. Best Friend Sweetu Doesn’t Give A Shit
You’ve probably grown up with films where the leading lady has a best friend who is mysteriously always around to give sound advice and a shoulder to cry on, no matter how many times the same crap gets pulled off. In real life, your best friend is going to ask you to shut your face and get over it.
5. The Party Girl Always Wins
Have you had your dose of films like Cocktail and Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani? Good! Because we’re here to tell you that the party girl always wins. Have you spent a considerable amount of time being like Diana Penty from Cocktail? Here’s the shocker – the guys don’t really care.
6. The Poor Guy’s Mansion Never Gets Built
Unlike Rohit from Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai or every other cliched film which has a rags to riches story, if your hero no 1 is a pauper, we’re sorry to be the ones to tell you this, in all probability he isn’t going to become a Rockstarr and make that gorgeous Karan Johar-esque mansion.
7. The Geek Never Gets The Girl
Do you believe that the good guy always wins, despite the fact that he is a certified dork? We’re sorry but we couldn’t get to you in time! The Geek really never gets the girl.
8. RoadTrips Are Annoying And The Main Reason For Break Ups
Unlike what they show you in films like Jab We Met and the disasterous Anjaana-Anjaani, roadtrips with your boyfriend aren’t amazing – you will constantly fight about the music, the hotel and you definitely won’t fall in love with them watching their unbathed body. Also, fyi – raids aren’t as fun as Jab We Met made them out to be.
9. Hitting The Bar Isn’t The True Test Of Love
While Bollywood movies make it seem like drunk lovers are something to be desired, in reality, they get dumped on the arse before they can say, “on the rocks”!
10. The Curtain Doesn’t Fall After The Wedding
Most Bollywood romance films lead up to marriage; once the hero and heroine tie the knot, everything is okay in paradise and they walk in to the sunset holding hands. In real life, all romances don’t point to marriage and what happens post that is a whole new article!
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