7 Bollywood Movies That Don’t Deserve To Be In The 100 Crore Club
April 10, 2014 @ 10:39 am
And that’s putting it politely. What these movies actually deserve is to have their film reels ripped to shreds and buried in an unmarked patch of the Sahara Desert where no innocent cinemagoer will accidentally chance upon it.
So, we may not be winning any debates with Sheldon Cooper anytime soon but we do possess a decent IQ and above average intelligence; which is what makes it weird that we have yet to figure out how precisely did these seven movies ever make their way to the 100 crore club, a sacred place once reserved for Aamir’s choicest releases. We’ve heard of massy, but here’s a list of seven 100 crore earners that simply defy rationality:
A faux virtual love story, a wannabe kid trying to pull off a Kuch Kuch Hota Hai ending and a generous number of close-ups of Salman’s abs. While we can’t seem to figure what the audience saw in this film to help it earn 143 crores, we are pretty sure it wasn’t the brilliant story.
“Don’t angry me,” Akshay Kumar snarled viciously in the trailers. Funny. Because that is precisely what we were ready to say 30 minutes into this nonsensical shambles of a film. One critic moaned, “Rowdy Rathore is a mess of maal, masala and moustache while it has neither the wit nor the charm needed to craft a real send-up,” and we couldn’t agree more.
While the movie features more actors than we can count on one hand, the number of reasons to watch this film can easily be counted on one hand; in fact, just two fingers can suffice. The movie was dissed widely by critics, (Rajeev Masand famously said, "Housefull 2 is for four-year-olds who don’t know any better.”) not least because it generously plagiarized its beach sequence from a Hollywood movie Lovewrecked.
Handling one Abhishek Bachchan can be difficult at the best of times, throwing in two Abhisheks at the audience without any forewarning was definitely below the belt. Unlike in Dostana, without any hunky John Abraham around to supplement Abhishek’s girly act here, it was just that. Girly.
Son of Sardaar
Since no combinations of words in the English language can do justice to the sheer ridiculousness of this movie, all we’ll say is that the movie is an exercise in outdated Sardar jokes, except less funny. As echoed by a critic who wrote, “There’s nothing more torturous than watching an unfunny film that’s trying so hard to be funny.”
Son of Sardar
#ProTip: Yes, the ‘common man’ doesn’t want his power underestimated, but more than that, what the ‘common man’ really wants is NOT to be told what he wants, by a slew of movies desperate to outdo each other in the stupidity stakes. Also, the common man would like to know what common man has toned pecs like Salman Khan? And if they do, how come we haven’t met them yet?
I don’t always make sequels to be released on Diwali. But when I do, they make zero sense to anyone with a functional brain and contain a 180 page script devoted solely to Ajay Devgn’s split on two vehicles. ~ Rohit Shetty
Have more films you can add to the list? Tell us in the comments below.
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