7 Easiest Ways To Get Dumped By Your Partner
July 11, 2014 @ 10:55 am
Because even the Overly Attached Girlfriend wouldn’t want to be in a ten mile radius of you once you try your hand at any of these:
Constantly get dumped without knowing what you’re doing wrong? Or just want out of a relationship without having to say those dreaded words? Fret not, regardless of whichever side of the fence you’re on, here’s a list of seven ways to ring the death knell on any relationship:
Indulging in online PDA
Not with her, but with your ex. Doesn’t matter if you swore to stay friends; not severing all ties with your ex post breakup means that you’re soon going to have a fresh breakup on your hands.
Hanging out with her friends without informing her
The degree to which this can land you into hot water is directly proportional to how hot her friends, whom you’ve been hanging out with in her absence, were.
Saying hasta-la-vista to basic hygiene
Remember all those relationship advice columns that told you that women don’t mind men who sweat? Sorry, but they lied. Big time. Bidding adieu to personal hygiene is the fastest way of bidding adieu to your girlfriend as well.
Conducting suspiciously whispered phone conversations when she’s around
Secretly enlisted for the FBI? No? Well, that’s what she’s thinking anyway and enlisting for the FBI would have at least made for a cool excuse. Girls, on a whole, get their antenna up when they catch a whiff of a secret and not knowing what you’re talking about is an absolutely foolproof way of making her hit the panic button.
Ditching all attempts at diplomacy and courtesy
Remember how you managed to condition yourself to find diplomatic responses to the endless ‘Does this make me look fat?’ among other related and equally impossible queries? Well, delete all those presets and you’ll have one missing girlfriend on your hands.
Turning into a momma’s little boy
And not in a cute Ranbir Kapoor way either. What we’re talking about here is an obsessive ‘I can’t live without my mom & how soon can we move in with her?’ tirade that’ll have her out of the door faster than you can say Oedipus.
Smothering her with love
And you thought that being emotionally distant was a hazard. Try calling her, texting her and clinging to her every waking second if you’re in the mood of finding out exactly how fatal the opposite can be for your relationship.
Any of these gotten you dumped in the past? Share your stories in the comments below.
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