Have you ever been in a situation where you have fallen head over heels in love with a friend and you can’t seem to muster the courage to admit it, so you lay with a stone on your heart and a lump in your throat, being just a friend? We have all gone through this phase in our lives. We have all hoped that our friends notice the passionate lover that has been suppressed and give us the chance, we deserve. Being ‘Friendzoned’ is the most awful feeling, let’s try to help today’s lover counter that!

Dear Urban Cupid,

I am a 20 year old boy and am in love with my best friend. We have been friends since my first year in college; in fact, we are like soul mates. We share everything that happens in our lives with each other. We spend a lot of time together and when we spend time together, we don’t feel the need for anyone else’s company. However, she has a boyfriend and has been with him for a short while. Things have changed between us; the situation isn’t how it used to be. She spends all her time with him now and I feel sidelined. She says we have separate lives and doesn’t have time for me. I want to tell her that I love her, I don’t know if that will change anything but I want to tell her. I want to be with her and even if I can’t, I want things to go back to how they were before she met her boyfriend. Please help!

Yours Truly,

Karan M

Dear Karan,

Relationships, including the ones where both parties are just friends, are a two way street. Your friend has always thought of you as a friend, even when she wasn’t dating someone. If she wanted to get involved with you, believe me, she would’ve dropped some hints. There is no harm in loving someone but you have to accept that there is nothing more to your relationship than friendship, at least for now. I understand that it hurts when someone doesn’t reciprocate your attempts at affection and when they spurn your offers for spending time together but the fact remains that when people are involved in relationships, friends, invariably, become collateral damage. If things have gotten really strained between you two, you must have a chat with her and tell her that you guys were friends even before this relationship and it is inconsiderate of her not to devote some time, from her schedule, for you. Don’t adopt an accusatory tone but make an effort to understand her situation and help her retain the really special friend that you are.

Love,

UC

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