URBAN CUPID: Three's a crowd
August 28, 2012 @ 00:00 am
What happens when you aren't the one calling the shots?
Love is usually a hard nut to crack and relationships, even more so. Relationships don’t have a specific code that help us along the way, however hard we wish for an algorithm. When we make the momentous decision to take the big step with our object of affection, we are delusional enough to think two people govern the dynamics of a relationship. We think of the relationship as sacrosanct, any presence other than our own is negated by virtue of being unimportant. How naïve we are! Reality pulls the rug from beneath us when friends, ex boyfriends/girlfriends, neighbours and the most threatening, parents, easily become a part of our love equation. Every step we take, every move we make is watched and judged, we are subjected to suggestions and before we know we lose track of the numerous master puppeteers.
Dear Urban Cupid,
I am dating a lovely girl right now and I really like her. She is fun and I haven’t faced any issues in our relationship. The reason I’m writing in to you is because my family is still in love with my ex-girlfriend, we broke up over two years ago. She was nice girl but we were headed in different directions in life and eventually broke up. My parents got really attached to her and now, they do not accept anyone else in her place. I am baffled as to what to do. Please help!
It is quite a common phenomenon for our family and friends to get attached to the people we have dated, considering the fact that while we are with that person, our families go out of the way to make that person feel comfortable and welcome. Therefore, the love and affection that your family has for your ex girlfriend is understandable. Having said that, it has been two years which is a sufficient amount of time for your family to accept the fact that you have moved on. You need to have a conversation with your folks and explain to them that what you had with your ex girlfriend was great but it is over. Explain to them the reasons which caused the break up and get them to see the causes for the incompatibility. Hold your ground but be sensitive. Introduce your family and friends to your new girlfriend, get them to spend with her and I’m sure they’ll come around.
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