URBAN CUPID: Caste away
August 27, 2012 @ 00:00 am
Of what use is religion if it can't unite people.
We live in a world separated by boundaries, caste, creed, race and hate. We have imbibed in ourselves a lack of tolerance and acceptance. We grow up learning everything there is to know about religion, yet, we know naught of faith. The basis of religion, in my understanding, is to unite people, help them keep faith; a mechanism that keeps people from making unreasonable choices. We use God as an entity that governs our actions, what we do not realize is that in the larger scheme of things, God is the realization of our conscience. In no culture does God prohibit love, forgiveness or tolerance, yet, we love to hate. Our reader, today, faces such a conundrum and I hope to resolve his issues.
Dear Urban Cupid,
I don’t know how to start this question, the thing is I am a Hindu and I come from a staunch Brahmin family. I am hopelessly in love with a girl who is a Muslim. Her family is quite liberal and is okay with her choosing her life partner. However, my family is extremely strict and they will disown me if I continue with this relationship. I know this because a situation like this has happened before to my cousin sister. I really do love her and I don’t think I will be able to love or accept anybody else into my life. I, also, do not want to hurt my parents since I am their only son. Please help me, I feel so lost and helpless.
Religion is, usually, a deal breaker for most relationships, families do not accept partners from any other caste and this leads to bitterness. I know the previous statement may seem harsh and not hopeful, in the least, but for the most part, it is true. There is no perfect response to your problem, I cannot ask you to give up your family for the woman you love, nor can I ask you to give up the woman you love. However, what I can suggest is for you to take a level headed route; speak to your family, ideally, one member at a time starting with the most liberal one leading up to the staunchest person. Try to gather as much support as you can from within your family so it becomes easier for you to convince your parents. As a sign of respect, meet the girl’s family and explain your situation to them and take their advice as well; they deserve a say in their daughter’s life. This process of convincing your parents may take time and effort but keep at it and I’m sure your conviction will make your parents yield.
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