REVEALED! The Shocking Truth About Himesh Reshammiya!
November 18, 2010 @ 00:00 am
In a very disturbing, shocking, and appalling turn of events, Mr Bhushan Kumar, the head of T Series, has recently revealed in interviews that Himesh Reshammiya, the man who is responsible for his historic contribution in making music synonymous with a bo
And just because Mr Kumar thinks Himess bhai's market value (which is as high as the range of his nose… err… voice) has gone down, he has not released his movie that all of us fans of Himess bhai were waiting day and night for, Kajraare. We refuse to believe there's a God out there who allowed this to happen. In fact, none of us from the HIV (Himessss Ilu Vuuuuu) club have had sleepless nights because of this.
So here's an open letter to Mr Kumar about the TRUTH about Himess bhai so that he'll retract his blasphemous statement about Himess bhai's talent:
1. AWESOME ACTING: First and foremost, there is only one expression on Himess bhai's face simply because he is a nice, kind and charitable human being who loves that expression from the bottom of his heart and doesn't want to cheat on it with other expressions. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that he couldn't act even if someone put a gun inside his nose and screamed, “ACT, or I'll silence you forever!"
2. AWESOME SINGING: Unlike Tansen, who could only do ordinary, mediocre, unexceptional things like bring rains (we are sure he used to do that in monsoon season), Himess's dual, two-in-one voice (nosey and not nosey) can do devastating things.
His voice can shatter glass into 13 pieces (Tera tera tera suroooor.. *shatter* *shatter* x tera), kill dogs in their sleep, scare wolves and force them into hiding, and give human beings all kinds of incurable illnesses that result in vomiting, headaches, high fever, ear damage, and general pain in all parts of the body.
3. AWESOME HAIR: The lustrous, unkempt hair that grows on his face is the REASON why men and women in India shave their faces every day. And the cap on the lustrous, unkempt hair on his head… that he CHOOSES to grow (the hair transplant rumours are FALE UNTRUE LIES planted by jealous people in Pakistan)… is the REASON why bald people (like Raghu) don't wear caps anymore. Because no one wants to look like Himess (out of respect, and NOT because he is ugly, okay?).
4. AWESOME PERSONALITY: Most importantly, the number of gorgeous women in all his movies, music videos, concerts and his dreams, who like him truthfully and want to make sexy time with him, his beard, his cap AND his mike, are NOT paid by HIMESS to do that (Himess is a VERY moral human being). …They do it because he is the Gujju version of a Greek sex God. (And also, they are paid by T-Series, but that's NOT the point).
We hope Mr Kumar has changed his mind and will now retract his statement. Even if he doesn't, we'll prove our loyalty to Himess bhai by watching the movie when it releases on Colours next month, so that the TRPs of the movie will be greater than the population of Gujarat (because all auto rickshawallahs in Mumbai will watch it too). Hail Himess!
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