But what happens when relationships, love and friendship go on Facebook? Is ‘Poking' code for sex? ‘What do ‘PRIVATE messages' really mean? Do girls have ulterior motives when they ‘LIKE' your status? Is there a deeper meaning behind it all? CAN YOU GET LAID THROUGH FACEBOOK?! We help you understand and unravel it all:

 

 

When a random person from the opposite sex on Facebook adds you:

What it means for single girl: Ooh, one more friend on Facebook.. yay, now I  have 678 friends! I beat *random evil girl*

What it means for single guy: WOO HOO!!!!! This chick likes me, this chick likes me!! *Does vulgar Anil Kapoor Oscar speech dance* 

What it means for committed girl: Ooh, one more friend on Facebook.. yay, now I  have 678 friends! I beat *random evil girl*

What it means for committed guy: WOO HOO!!!! Girls STILL want me! Oooh I'm so hot and happenin' baby! *Dances like Justin Bieber in ‘Baby baby baby'* 

 

 

When a person from opposite sex changes Relationship Status to ‘Single':

What it means for single girl: Awww

What it means for single guy: *Immediately comments* (In sympathetic tone) Heyyyy… I'm so sorry to hear that. What happened with your boyfriend? I hope you are alright. My number is 912345678, you should call me if you are sad and need someone to talk to. Please take care, please. I can't see you hurt. (*Thinking: REBOUND SEX, REBOUND SEX, REBOUND SEX FTW!!*)

What it means for committed girl: Awww

What it means for committed guy: ANOTHER girl's single now!! What the hell!! When I was single EVERYONE was with someone else! This is SO unfair!! Why does it always happen to me!! I hate life. I HATE life. I H-A-T-E life. F**k this s**t. !@#$

 

 

When a new, sexy profile pic of the opposite sex pops up on the ‘wall':

What it means for single girl: Ooh, I should change my profile pic too! It's been so long since the last time I updated… today morning. Hmm, which one should I put? The one where my hair is on my face and people can only see that bit of me that looks pretty? Or the one where I look super sexy but it's nothing like how I am in real life? Or wait, I think I should just put photos of my feet. They are so pwetty! *Changes pic*

What it means for single guy: Woah, sexy pic, yaar! Yaar, this girl is so hot. I wish she was going out with me. I wish I was not single. I wish I had sex with someone besides my hand. Should I comment on it? What if she thinks I am desperate? I AM desperate but what if that becomes obvious? Maybe I should not comment on the pic, she's already fraandship with my Facebook, I don't want to spoil that relationship. (Thinks a lot more) *Likes pic, to play it safe* 

What it means for commited girl: Ooh, I should change my profile pic too! It's been so long since the last time I updated… today morning. Hmm, which one should I put? The one where my hair is on my face and people can only see that bit of me that looks pretty? Or the one where I look super sexy but it's nothing like how I am in real life? Or wait, I think I should just put photos of my feet. They are so pwetty! *Changes pic*

What it means for committed guy: Niiiiice! I bet I'd have got her if I'd have been single. Dammit, I'm not single :(. No one night stands for me :(. I hate life :(. I wish I was in America, people there are so open-minded, they don't mind multiple partners also. India SUCKS. Life SUCKS. Commitment SUCKS. *Starts crying*

 

 

When a person from opposite sex compliments you on your new profile pic

What it means for single girl: *Giggles to herself* Yay, another comment! Total of 26 comments now, I'm popular! *Polishes her tiara*

What it means for single guy: Score! I'm going to get LAID!!! Finally!!!!  

What it means for commited girl: *Giggles to herself* Yay, another comment! Total of 26 comments now, I'm popular! *Polishes her tiara*

What it means for committed guy: She's TOTALLY into me! Aaja meri gaadi mein baith ja, baby. Man, I wish I didn't have a girlfriend! (Pause) Oh fuck, my girlfriend's going to read this! What do I do now!! I'm screwed!! I mean.. I won't be now :( 

 

 

And finally, if you are having trouble making sense of all this brilliant advice we have doled out, here's what you do next:

If you are a single girl: Share this article with your friends (and STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF YOUR FEET on your profile) 

If you are a single guy: Share this article with your friends (and stop stalking girls online – ultimately, arranged marriage is there na, you'll still get sex!) 

If you are a committed girl: Share this article with your friends (and forgive your boyfriend… it's not his fault, he was born like that…  a GUY) 

If you are a committed guy: Share this article with your friends (and make sure your girlfriend doesn't read it)

 

 

Click here for earlier funny articles: MTV News Feed

Follow MTV on twitter: @mtvindia

Follow the writer on Twitter: @nikhiltaneja86

 

 

Tags: STAYRAW, Love, Relationships, Humour, Stay Raw, Facebook

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