If I were writing a BAD movie review this is how it would start

“This movie spews out three things: Poor choice of music, cheesy lines and… poor choice of music!”

If I were writing an OPTIMISTIC movie review this is how it would end

I had “NOTHIN’ BUT A GOOD TIME”

Between all of this, I, truly, went to watch Rock of Ages purely because of the million dollar ensemble cast and the recreation of a famous musical by Adam Shankman. More like “Hit me with your best shot” and well it did. What I got of it was a sea of nostalgia with all the rock'n'roll songs and a lot of screen time of Tom Cruise’s butt. Apart from that, the floor stomping moves and the minimal comedy parts (thanks to Russell Brand) really helped elevate the movie.

The plot is along these lines: Sherrie (Julianne Hough), a small town girl, gets off the bus on Sunset Strip with little money, but big dreams. Almost instantly, she gets mugged (The tough life of the 80s) meets Drew (Diego Boneta), a city boy at the Bourbon Room. It’s a faltering club (that become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke after every performance) owned by Dennis, played by a Lhasa Aspso hair styled, Alec Baldwin. Lonny (Russell Brand) is his assistant and…? (Well just watch the movie for this one). Sherrie is hired as a waitress at the Bourbon and kicks off a relationship with Drew which is then slated for disaster.

Catherine Zeta-Jones plays Patricia Whitmore, the commanding wife of the new mayor, Bryan Cranston. She wants the Bourbon room closed. 

Arsenal is playing its final show at the Bourbon Room since Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise) is going solo. Dennis hopes the revenue from this big show will help him save the club. Stacee’s manager played well by Paul Giamatti, sporting a ponytail, is not to be trusted. Malin Akerman is a “Rolling Stone” reporter who heats up the screen with Stacee and eventually serves as his muse. Mary J. Blige runs a gentlemen’s club and gives Sherrie advice when her dreams seem to be ending after she breaks up with Drew.

Everything seems to be going wrong as Drew goes solo and joins a boy band and after a lot of song and dance the couple meet again and talk about their miserable current life which was followed by this:

                             Sherrie Christian: I'm a stripper at the Venus Club. 

                             Drew Boley: I’m in a boy band. 

                             Sherrie Christian: You win. 

But like a movie that promises a “Good Time” there was bound to be a total twist as Jaxx re-joins his band, Arsenal and performs a song with Drew and Sherrie for a crowd that includes Dennis, Lonny, Justice, a pregnant Constance, and Patricia who is back to her rock 'n' roll persona.

Like I mentioned earlier: I had “NOTHIN’ BUT A GOOD TIME”