Shit Apple Fanboys Say!
November 09, 2012 @ 00:00 am
If you recognize yourself saying any of these dialogues, congrats; you're now officially an Apple fanboy!
So you want to know how to spot an Apple fanboy? That’s easy – just look out for the guy who swaggers down the street with his phone held prominently, so that you get an eyeful of the half-bitten Apple logo each time he moves. Look out for the guy who still religiously uses Apple Maps, no matter how far off the mark it is. The guy who manages to bring up the words, “I love Steve Jobs” even in a mundane conversation about the weather. In fact, if he thinks that $50 is a perfectly reasonable price for a tiny adapter cable, be assured that you’re dealing with a true Apple fanatic.
Last week, we taught you how to spot the Droids. This week, we take a cue from Scott Rose and his hilarious video, Shit Apple Fanatics Say, to list down the most common dialogues an Apple fanboy says:
· Yeah, I just blew three months’ of salary on the new iPhone. And you know what? It was totally worth it!
· Apple Maps isn’t all that bad; it just needs a little, uh, getting used to.
· Sure, you can go with Android if you like unintuitive, frustrating, illogical user interfaces. Totally your choice, bro.
· Best customer service. Ever.
· If Steve Jobs were still alive, that would never have happened.
· Android is all about careers, not customers.
· Huh. Removable batteries. What century are you in?
· The guy who sits next to me is such a jerk, but I can’t hate him too much; he’s a fellow Mac user!
· Who even needs Flash?
· Ha! Even the hottest personal assistant can’t beat Siri!
· No, Apple employees love working 18 hour days. It’s part of their culture.
· Yeah well, we broke up. Things just weren’t working out. She was more attached to Android than to sticking with good technology.
· No, no, no the command key is like the control key, which is better, use your thumb instead of your pinky.
· Apple can totally survive with Tim Cook. Long as he keeps hiring brilliant people like John Browett.
· See, there’s your problem: You just want to buy free apps!
· Of course you can right click on a Mac! All you gotta do is press the control key and click…. Or something like that. God, just buy a detachable mouse if you’re so fond of right clicking!
Maybe next week, we will enlighten you on what to expect from a Blackberry user. Except that they don’t say anything beyond the word ‘BBM.’ And ever since Whatsapp came on the scene, they’ve stopped talking altogether!
For now, just head to the comments section and tell us which of these clichés your Apple friends say the most!